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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28153317">and you're mine to keep, the light in my darkness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelylittlelion/pseuds/lovelylittlelion'>lovelylittlelion</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Formula 1 RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Christmas Presents, Claire is here !! cuz i love her, Declarations Of Love, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, One Shot, Pining, but when they're already together, does that make sense? idk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:20:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,190</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28153317</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelylittlelion/pseuds/lovelylittlelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the thought alone still leaves him breathless. Charles is absolutely magical, from his cheeky smirk to the way he pouts when Alex points out how he can't wink at all. His boyfriend is adorable.</p>
<p>/ Or: the five times Alex thinks he's in love with Charles, and the one time he says it out loud.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexander Albon &amp; George Russell, Alexander Albon/Charles Leclerc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>and you're mine to keep, the light in my darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>can you tell i'm a sucker for 5 + 1 fics cause i actually aM</p>
<p>i also kind of used this fic to deal with the alex news,,, yea.</p>
<p>lots of love to my beta sas for helping me finish this instead of leaving it in my drafts forever, ily &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1.</p>
<p>It’s been weeks since they last hung out together, both drowning in piles of homework and even though they live together, it’s been weeks since Alex had an actual conversation with his boyfriend. It’s been 36 days of ‘how are you’s and ‘fine’s mumbled during breakfast. A sigh falls past his lips.</p>
<p>He just wants to do something fun with Charles this weekend. He wants to <em>not</em> work on projects for the rest of the week, he wants to binge that dumb series they’ve both wanted to watch for ages. To get some sleep. Alex yawns.</p>
<p>When he looks at his phone again it’s 5 pm, and he blinks a few times before packing his stuff to go home. He still doesn’t get even half of the paragraphs he’s been studying the past few days, but he’s making some progress and for now that’s enough to keep a tired smile on his lips.</p>
<p>Hopefully Charles is home already. Alex misses him. He misses seeing that dumb smirk on his boyfriends face that never fails to make him blush, he misses teasing him about how bad he is at winking and he misses just being with him.</p>
<p>Reading books together. Watching movies together while Alex falls asleep halfway through, waking up in the morning with a blanket wrapped around him and a hastily written note with spoilers about the ending and a smiley.</p>
<p>He blinks again. He’s struggling to keep his eyes open and he tiredly smiles when he opens the door to their shared dorm. In just a few minutes he’ll be able to eat something and then sleep. Alex yawns again when he turns around the corner to their kitchen and-</p>
<p>Charles already there. He’s humming to Santa Tell Me while he’s cooking his favourite dish and Alex knows he’s grinning. A chuckle falls past his lips. ‘Isn’t it a bit early for Christmas songs?’</p>
<p>His boyfriend turns around, eyes widening as his signature smirk appears on his face. God, Alex missed seeing it. For once he doesn’t curse at the blush dusting his cheeks. ‘Chéri, it’s never too early for Christmas songs.’</p>
<p>Alex rolls his eyes. He grabs Charles’ hand, tangling their hands together. It feels comfortable. It feels like he’s home again, and part of the tiredness leaves his body as his boyfriend sings out loud this time. He knows Charles hates cooking.</p>
<p>His boyfriend made him his favourite dish, cooked for him while he’s even busier than Alex is and he feels all fuzzy and warm while they eat together for the first time in weeks. There’s a smile playing on his lips as Charles rants about his English teacher and his ‘horrible accent’.</p>
<p>Maybe they just needed to get this point. When Charles asks him about his projects after dinner he just sighs. He wasn’t doing great but now, with his boyfriends arms around him and a movie playing in the background, Alex feels oddly loved.</p>
<p>He offers to wash the dishes later on, knowing Charles hates doing that even more then cooking. A thought hits him a little harder then he wants to, leaving him breathless and dizzy for a second. The ground sways under his feet before he steadies himself. <em>I love you.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>2.</p>
<p>He slept through his alarm again. Alex curses at himself another time before sprinting off to his class, pecking his boyfriend on the cheeks as he yells a ‘good morning’ before the door slams shut. He loves history. Sure, he doesn’t really need it and it’s not <em>that</em> useful when you’re studying economics, but there’s something about the lectures that seem to draw him in.</p>
<p>And now he’s late. His teacher likes him well enough to let it pass, but Alex still feels guilty. Hopefully he hasn’t missed too much. He walks into the class eight minutes late. His teacher just nods and mentions for him to sit down, and his best friend grins at him as he does so.</p>
<p>Alex sticks out his tongue before making some notes. They’re learning about World War 1 today. It might not be the most interesting topic but at least it’s better than the second one. Honestly, world wars are overrated.</p>
<p>He reaches for his water bottle after a few minutes, hands grabbing nothing but air, and then realizes he left it at home. He also forgot to even make lunch. George gives him a pitying look as he hands him his own bottle.</p>
<p>Looks like he’ll starve today. A sigh falls past his lips. This is all he’s getting for actually going to class? He might as well just not go next time. He could walk home and eat lunch there, but that would mean being late for maths as well and Alex really doesn’t want to risk that.</p>
<p>He sighs again before turning back to the teacher. It’s just a few minutes until their first break starts. Maybe playing Among Us will distract him from the fact that he’s not getting any food until at least 4 pm. He rubs his eyes, and yawns. He’s about to write something down when the doors to their lecture hall fly open.</p>
<p>And.. it’s Charles. Alex can feel his cheeks heating up, a smile tugging at his lips. His boyfriend is here. His boyfriend, who absolutely despises history. He ignores the looks some of his classmates give him as Charles walks up to him and hands him something. ‘You forgot your lunch.’</p>
<p>He’s left speechless. Charles walked into a lecture, just to hand him some sandwiches? There’s butterflies in his stomach as he reaches for his boyfriends hand and squeezes it. ‘Thank you.’ Charles seems to understand him anyways.</p>
<p>His teacher clears her throat. ‘I’m glad Alex has his lunch now, but I’d like to continue.’ Alex knows he’s blushing again. Charles sends him a soft smile and a disastrous wink that makes him laugh before he leaves.</p>
<p>George just grins. ‘Whipped.’ There’s a fond smile on his face as Alex rolls his eyes. ‘I’m not.’ His best friends grin deepens. ‘But Charles is.’</p>
<p>The blush hasn’t left his cheeks when he exists the building, biting into the sandwich his boyfriend made him. Somehow it tastes a million times better than the ones he makes himself. He sends a quick picture of it to Charles, adding a smiley face before locking his phone.</p>
<p>The wink his boyfriend replies with leaves him all giddy. He smiles when a thought hits him, leaving him breathless for a second. <em>I love you.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>3.</p>
<p>There’s something about staying up at night that makes him feel so comfortable. Maybe it’s how everyone is quiet. It’s so peaceful. No one expects to you to live up to their expectations or wishes and there’s an utter nothingness that makes a smile pull at his lips.</p>
<p>Alex leans over to press a soft kiss on his boyfriends forehead. Charles is fast asleep. They’re driving home from Nicky’s party, and Alex knew his boyfriend would fall asleep the second they sat down in the car. A fond smile tugs at his lips. Charles danced and talked the whole evening, while Alex..</p>
<p>Well, he hates parties. Everyone’s busy talking to people they don’t know, and you spend half of the evening trying to find someone you actually want to talk to. George was too busy making heart eyes at Nicky to care about him, and his boyfriend was just being himself.</p>
<p>Everyone always wants to talk to Charles, to hear him rant about whatever is on his mind and to nod like they know what he’s going on about when he flashes them one of his famous smiles. It’s not like you can blame them.  Alex’s smile deepens. His boyfriend is the cutest when he’s talking about something he likes.</p>
<p>Maybe Alex doesn’t mind going to parties that much if he’s allowed to spend them like this. He could watch Charles for hours, and the little smiles his boyfriend sends him during conversations are enough to make him smile.</p>
<p>It’s the eyerolls at people’s comments that make him laugh out loud. The winks Charles sends him. (Not that they’re winks. It’s just his boyfriend blinking like a cat, and it reminds Alex of Horsey.) It’s knowing that he’s the one who’s going home with Charles, and it never fails to make him feel all fuzzy.</p>
<p>Home. It somehow shifted from their dorm to something else during all their time together. Home is the feeling of Charles’ hands in his, and the look in his boyfriends eyes when he catches him staring. It’s the warmth spreading through his body when Charles steals his hoodies once again.</p>
<p>It feels like being up at night. Alex fondly smiles when he parks their car next to their dorm. Charles doesn’t want to let go of his hand. He’s still fast asleep, mumbling something in French every ten seconds and he’s absolutely adorable.</p>
<p>The thought doesn’t hit him as hard as it used to. It makes him smile by now. Somehow all of this isn’t so scary when it’s with Charles, and Alex presses another kiss on his boyfriends forehead before he carries him home. <em>I love you.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>4.</p>
<p>Alex hates shopping. There’s something so irritating about walking in and out of shops, and the constant nagging at the back of his mind that he could’ve also done something other then <em>this</em> drives him crazy.</p>
<p>As much as he tries to just get his stuff online to avoid going to shops.. his boyfriend loves shopping. Charles loves spending hours in small shops, plucking shirts and notebooks and whatever catches his eye off the racks. It’s adorable to see.</p>
<p>It’s also the reason Alex is now stuck in a candle shop. There’s candles literally everywhere, sunlight shining in his eyes and as much as Alex loves his boyfriend he really, really wants to leave. The strong scent of a mix of different kind of flowers, coffee and fire is making him a little nauseous.</p>
<p>Charles sends him a bright smile as he walks past him. ‘Your shop is beautiful!’ The woman standing behind the counter chuckles. ‘Thank you. My girlfriend helped me organize everything. She has a slight preference for the colour blue, but I’m glad you like it.’</p>
<p>Alex can’t help the smile pulling on his lips as he looks around the shop. It really is a lot of blue, but the shop reminds him of the sea and the sky at once and it’s done beautifully. His boyfriend gives the woman another big smile before disappearing between two stacks of candles.</p>
<p>He fondly rolls his eyes. It’s going to take hours for Charles to decide on something. Alex’s about to follow him when the woman speaks up again. ‘It’s nice to see you love him so much.’</p>
<p>His eyes widen slightly as he looks over at her. There’s a soft smile on her lips that turns teasing when she notices his panicked gaze. ‘Don’t worry, he looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky. He’s a keeper.’</p>
<p>Alex grins. There’s a slight blush dusting his cheeks. ‘He makes me like shopping, just because he looks so utterly happy with everything. Did you see the smile he sent me when we walked into here? Charles is just.. the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’</p>
<p>She grins back at him. ‘Whipped.’ Alex is about to protest when his boyfriend walks up to the counter, seven different candles in his arms. He brightly smiles at the woman before putting them down. ‘I would like to buy these.’</p>
<p>A chuckle falls past Alex’s lips. ‘Told you you were going to buy at least five candles.’ Charles just pouts at him. ‘Hey, I never said you couldn’t. Let me pay for you.’ The woman gives him a knowing look as she packs the candles for them.</p>
<p>‘Thank you for your help.. Claire.’ She just waves them off. ‘Go enjoy your day shopping.’ Alex grimaces before he takes Charles hand. Shopping might not be that bad when he’s with his boyfriend, but he’ll never tell him that. Charles will never let him live after that.</p>
<p>He waves at Claire before exiting the shop. The mouthed ‘whipped’ lingers on his mind for longer than he wants to admit. Maybe, maybe he is a little whipped for the soft smiles Charles sends him, and the determined look in his eyes when they're playing one of his boyfriends favourite games. <em>I love you.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>5.</p>
<p>There’s something about Charles unwrapping presents that makes Alex want to cry. He looks so delighted with everything he gets, and there’s a disbelieving look in his eyes at everything that’s more expensive than 10 pounds.</p>
<p>It makes Alex wonder if he’s used to getting presents. It also makes him stress even more for Christmas, and most importantly, his boyfriends birthday. He wants to get it right. He wants to give Charles the best presents ever, and if he ends up spending a little more than the budget they decided on allows, who cares?</p>
<p>He gets a teary-eyed boyfriend in return, and that’s everything Alex can ask for. Charles’ smile still leaves him breathless at times. There’s a shimmer in his eyes that Alex wants to keep there forever, and Charles has <em>dimples</em>.</p>
<p>His boyfriend has dimples and Alex is pretty sure he’ll never be one hundred percent over it. He looks so good, so insanely beautiful whenever he smiles and the dimples will be the death of Alex one day. Charles is such a masterpiece.</p>
<p>He has the prettiest forest-green eyes and some days Alex wonders if he’s secretly just a fairy. His boyfriend manages to befriend animals by just looking at them, he has this magical aura and strangers somehow trust Charles with their lives.</p>
<p>A fairy or not, Alex sometimes wonders how he chose him, a normal tired student, to be his boyfriend. He’s just Alex. He’s the one who actually does all of the homework, manages to take pictures of his cats every three seconds because yes, they are that important and the nerd who can quote every scene of Star Wars.</p>
<p>Charles loves him for it. A smile tugs on his lips. His boyfriend looks at him the same way he looks at the presents Alex gets him, full of awe and surprise, and love. Maybe Alex wants him to never stop looking at him like that.</p>
<p>Maybe that’s why he loves to buy him even more presents, to give him that one hoodie he’s always wanted and to kiss him as a surprise when he’s studying. Charles is <em>his</em> now. He’s Alex’s boyfriend. The thought makes him feel all fuzzy inside.</p>
<p>Just the thought of having Charles with him for the rest of the eternity makes him smile. To have him tug at his hoodie whenever he’s struggling with homework. To make breakfast for him, and watch him complain about how he put too less salt in it.</p>
<p>He wants to watch him fall asleep on the sofa when he’s stayed up to late again. Alex always has to remove Horsey from his lap. He wants to spend all of his summer nights, his lazy Sundays and tiring schooldays with him.</p>
<p>He wants Charles to feel like he matters. He wants to let him know how much he matters to him, to make him smile his beautiful smile every day at least four times and Alex just wants to make him happy. Call him cheesy, but nothing else matters as long as Charles is happy.</p>
<p>Maybe it’s time to let his boyfriend know how much he means to him. Christmas is coming up anyways, and Alex has been planning this perfect present for over a year. A fond smile pulls on his lips. <em>I love you. I really love you.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>+ 1</p>
<p>He feels nauseous. Okay, he wouldn’t say he’s terrified, but maybe he’s just a little scared of Charles’ reaction. Alex has said a lot of ‘I love you’s before, but it feels a lot more real this time. It feels like he might lose Charles because of it.</p>
<p>What if his boyfriend simply isn’t ready for that yet? Alex doesn’t want him to feel pressured to say ‘I love you’ back. He just wants to let Charles know he’s loved. Maybe he doesn’t even need his heart back if it’s Charles who keeps it.</p>
<p>He doesn’t want to think of what it’ll be like if his boyfriend freezes up though, so he busies himself with packing the very last present. It’s their own kind of special. A nervous smile plays on his lips as he takes a look at the rings.</p>
<p>Charles never really told him what his favourite colour is, so all Alex can do is hope that he likes the emerald shining in the dim sunlight. It’s starting to get dark outside, and in less then an hour Alex will get to see his boyfriends reaction. His heart skips a beat.</p>
<p>It’s oddly quiet during dinner. They’re both stealing glances at each other, blushes visible even in the darkness. Charles wanted to keep the lights out so it would be ‘more romantical’. All Alex can see is his nervous smile and the soft sparkles in his eyes from the dim candle light.</p>
<p>He wants his present to be the last thing Charles will unwrap. A smile tugs on his lips. Charles always unwraps his presents by ripping the paper apart. Alex still finds tiny shreds of paper under the couch weeks later. It’s crazy to think how much that little thing means to him.</p>
<p>The rest of the evening passes in a blur. He’s pretty sure he likes all of the things Charles has gotten him, but he can’t remember a thing. His hands are shaking when he hands his boyfriend the very last present. Alex keeps his eyes focused on the ground.</p>
<p>There’s nerves flowing through his veins, he’s fidgeting with his fingers and what if Charles doesn’t like his present- Alex shakes his head. He has to like it. He bites his lip.</p>
<p>He only dares to look up when he hears a sniffle. His boyfriend is smiling, there’s tears in his eyes and Alex can feel his heart almost burst at the pure love in them. Charles isn’t even trying to hide it. There’s a sparkle in his eyes as well and his dimples-</p>
<p>His dimples are on full display and Alex knows there’s a fond smile playing on his lips. ‘I love you.’ He’s almost shocked by how easily those words fall past his lips. Charles doesn’t seem to mind though, nor does he notice the panicked look in Alex’s eyes. He sends him a dazzling smile as he slides on their rings.</p>
<p>‘I love you too chéri, I can’t wait to be yours forever.’</p>
<p>And if it’s Alex who tears up this time, they both don’t mention it. All Charles does is bring their hands to his lips, and all the pieces fall into place when he kisses their promise rings. They’re meant to be forever.</p>
<p>Maybe Alex found his home long ago.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you so much for reading, and merry christmas! &lt;3</p>
<p>come yell at me or plan to burn red bull down with me on tumblr: @alexlatifis</p></blockquote></div></div>
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